Do I Want My Child to Be a Third Culture Kid?

W* attended three preschools in three countries, three primary schools in different locations (same country), experienced two languages of instruction, and did her secondary school studies mainly online from a small town. She lived in eight different homes in three countries over 16 years and had schoolmates from every continent. That’s not too many compared to some TCKs! She returned to Singapore to finish her secondary education and university, and continues to live and work in Singapore.

Exciting? Yes! Enriching? Yes! But there are unique challenges, too.

Is that kind of life worth the challenges? Some pros and cons of an internationally mobile life that parents should consider:

Pros:

• TCKs get lots of practice being flexible and adaptable. Most relocations require getting used to a new environment, school, culture, people, language…

• They experience new and interesting things in every new place. This makes them creative, curious and adventurous.

• They make friends from many cultures.

• They learn to be tolerant and empathetic, accommodating differences and being sensitive to others’ feelings.

• They develop resilience: the ability to face challenges, cope and thrive.

Cons:

• TCKs inevitably experience the pain of saying goodbye to old friends and the need to make new friends with every move.

• They leave behind the familiar, such as home, school, food, environment, and have to adjust to the new.

• Lingering grief and loss can mount up if not handled well.

• They have to cope with the repeated challenges of settling into a new place and culture.

• TCKs may decide that it’s not worth bothering to adjust and adapt, which leaves them unsettled and rootless, without a sense of identity and belonging.

Some of this may sound grim, but parents can help their TCK children to make the most of the advantages of this internationally mobile life and overcome the challenges. Surveys show that most adult TCKs say that they do not regret their childhood experiences!

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.