Positive Childhood Experiences (Part 1) – In the Home

Parents – did you know that the more Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) you introduce into your children’s lives, the better they will be protected from the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)? This applies to all children, including TCKs. Here are 4 of the 8 most important PCEs. Read Part 2 for the 4 PCEs outside the home!

1.        Feeling able to share feelings at home and be heard and validated.

Children who feel that heard and understood will feel more secure and less fearful. Even if you can’t solve their problems, just having your support and empathy helps.

2.        Believing that the family stands together and prioritises one another during difficult times.

Children need to feel confident that their parents place their well-being first, ahead of anything else. Ask yourself - do you often cancel time with your children because of work? Do you make an effort to attend school activities with your child?

3.        Feeling safe and protected in the home.

Children who feel unsafe at home (even if they are actually perfectly safe) will not feel secure. You may want to pay special attention to this if your TCKs are adjusting to a new place or culture.

4.        Having family or community traditions to look forward to.

Family, cultural and religious traditions help children build bonds with family and friends, and provide stability and predictability. This is especially so for TCKs who are away from their passport countries.

What can parents do to provide these PCEs for their TCKs?

·       Make time in family life to connect with your children, and listen to their thoughts and feelings. Perhaps institute a daily “family time” or give everyone a turn to speak during family mealtimes.

·       Listen empathetically to your children’s fears, and explain how they can be managed. In the home, this could mean good locks on the doors and windows, or protecting a private space where non-family do not have access.

·       Create a weekly, monthly, annual rhythm of family traditions to provide stability and predictability – movie nights, birthday celebrations, wearing red and white on National Day, etc.

How many of these PCEs have been introduced into your family’s routine? Read Part 2 for more PCEs!

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.