Returning to School – 5 TCK Pain Points

TCKs often find returning to Singapore school scary and uncomfortable. Here are 5 of the most common TCK pain points and what parents can do to help:

1.      “I don’t know anyone!”

Making new friends in a new place is always challenging. We taught our children some conversation starters to help them make the first move, and recommended that they approach some of the quieter kids rather than trying to get the attention of the most popular ones.

2.      “No-one comes to talk to me.”

Looking like a Singaporean can be a disadvantage. The local classmates may feel that there is no need to make any special effort to welcome Singaporean TCKs. We explained to our children that the local kids might just be too busy with their own affairs, and suggested that they try the conversation starters as above.

3.      “I don’t know what they are talking about.”

TCKs returning from overseas may not have had the opportunities to keep up with the same fads, music, lingo, etc. and can feel excluded. We set up playdates in advance with others of similar ages to give our children a crash course in popular culture! Asking questions about something can be good conversation starters too.

4.      “They will laugh at me!”

School culture, mobile apps, school canteens, public transport… there are lots of new things for TCKs to learn when they first return to Singapore. Parents can try to anticipate some of these issues and practise them with the TCKs in advance.

5.      “The lessons are so different!”

The Singapore school system is unique. Knowing that, we helped our children with bridging (in Maths especially) in preparation, as well as briefing them about some of the differences in school life. We assured them that it was only a temporary phase, and they would soon grow accustomed.

Parents have a big role to play in easing their TCKs’ transition to Singapore. But the effort is worth it! Helping TCKs have a smoother re-entry will enable them to settle down faster and be happier in Singapore.

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.