What Does Emotional Resilience Look Like in a TCK?
- Mar 12
- 2 min read
Transitions are hard for anyone. Inevitably, most TCK transitions involves leaving behind things that are familiar and loved – friends, shared activities, hobbies, a familiar culture and community. They move out of a home with all its memories and favourite spaces.
Some TCKs put on a brave face, bury their pain, and just carry on. This is not resilience! Hidden and unresolved griefs and losses can accumulate over the years, and surface later in life in anger, depression, and other negative ways.
If you are suffering because your children are going through a transition, you can draw some comfort from understanding that the griefs and losses can also be viewed from a positive angle – they show that the TCKs had settled well before, which means that they can learn to feel the same way in the new place. Going through this process helps them develop emotional resilience!
What does it mean to be emotionally resilient?
Being (realistically) optimistic even during setbacks
Accepting that life can be unpredictable
Not blaming themselves or others for all problems
Being able to grieve appropriately for losses suffered, then move on
Having coping skills for handling stress
How can parents help their TCKs develop emotional resilience?
Help your children identify their losses and allow time for grieving.
Explain that this grief is part of the natural healing process, not something to be avoided.
Watch out for hidden and unresolved griefs.
Model emotional resilience by demonstrating and articulating how you face difficulties, identify losses, and express and resolve griefs.
Make sure that you provide Positive Childhood Experiences in your children’s lives.
To quote the closing line of the Singapore song The Road Ahead by Linying and Evan Low: “We did it before, and we’ll do it again.” That is a statement of resilience!
* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.
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