Help TCKs Build Memories of “Home”

Is it possible for someone to feel that more than one place is “home”? I believe, from my own experience, that it is!

Prof. Lily Kong wrote in a Straits Times article on 8 July 2025: “Home, for me, is not primarily about ownership or citizenship…. It is the shared memories of people and places…”

Third Culture Kids often struggle with the idea of “home”. Is it the place where they currently live? Is it their “passport country”, even though they spend only 2 weeks a year there?

Feeling “at home” improves a person’s sense of identity, belonging, safety and security, leading to overall better emotional well-being. Of course, parents want their TCKs to feel settled where they currently live, but if the plan is for TCKs to return to their passport country eventually, it is important that they learn to regard it as “home” as well.

How can we help TCKs build those “shared memories” of Singapore even while they are living elsewhere? Here are a few things to try during their visits to Singapore:

• Act as tour guide and show the TCKs different aspects of Singapore – neighbourhood centres, historic areas, parks, museums, etc.

• Point out differences between where they currently live and Singapore – “chope” culture, shopping malls, traffic rules, etc.

• Introduce them to local foods that are uniquely Singaporean.

• Teach them some age-appropriate skills – travelling by public transport, buying food in a hawkers’ centre, etc. This may involve teaching them some words in a dialect or Singlish!

Inviting cousins or other friends of about the same age to join in will make these even more memorable and help the TCKs make or renew friendships. Just pick a few things to do during every visit back to Singapore and spread them out over the years!

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.

Photo: Bukit Batok©mailer_diablo, Wikimedia Commons