Is Singapore “Home” for Your TCKs?

“Of course our children feel at home in Singapore – they visit every year!”

In fact, TCKs who spend only a few weeks a year in Singapore usually don’t regard it as “home”. They are likely to face significant adjustment challenges when they return to Singapore, especially if they are in their pre-teen or teen years – unless they are sufficiently prepared.

Consider these questions:

• Are your TCKs reluctant or resentful that they are going to live in Singapore?

• Are they willing to make the effort to get to know Singapore and regard it as “home”? Or are they just waiting for an opportunity to leave again?

• Do your TCKs know how to do the things that most Singaporean kids their age do? E.g. navigate Singapore’s public transport, order food and drinks in a hawker centre, understand the neighbour aunty’s Singlish?

• Do your TCKs have friends their own age in Singapore? Are they willing to try to make friends? Have they been given tips about how to break into a social circle when they are the “new kid” in the class or group?

• Have they received some “how Singapore schools work” tips to smooth the transition to Singapore school life?

• How resilient are they when coping with challenges and changes?

One teen I know found choosing and ordering food in the school canteen so overwhelming that she preferred to go hungry. Others felt that they were being laughed at when they didn’t know how things worked. Many felt ignored and left out when classmates didn’t reach out to them. For TCKs, all these negative feelings can make it really hard for them to settle well into Singapore.

Singaporean TCKs do not regard Singapore as “home” automatically; parents should prepare them in advance to help ease the transition. 

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.