Planning for TCK Re-Entry Has to Start Early!

Is returning to Singapore as a child different from returning as an adult? Yes, it is! TCKs don’t have many memories of Singapore, and certainly none of the stage of life that they are returning to. If they left Singapore as young children, living in Singapore as pre-teens or teenagers will be unknown territory.

Add to that the fact that children identify more strongly with peers as they get older, it’s not surprising that leaving friends behind and needing to build a new social network in a “new” place make older children resistant to returning to Singapore.

The suggestions below will help – but they take time! If the family has to return at short notice (e.g. Covid, health reasons, work requirements), it might be too late to start doing these things. But if parents work these into day-to-day family life right from the beginning, a sudden return will not be as upsetting to TCKs.

What can parents do?

• Keep the TCKs in touch with people in Singapore – it’s important for them to stay connected to extended family and close friends, especially those of similar ages. Video calls, birthday greetings, playdates during visits to Singapore… these small efforts make a huge difference.

• Help TCKs learn about Singapore – parents can tell stories about their growing up years, family history, etc. Visit a variety of places when in Singapore, introduce them to the food, etc.

• Read the MOE website to stay in touch with developments in the Singapore education system. Do some bridging during weekends and vacations, but keep it light!

• Try to budget time for school immersion every 2–3 years. This provides a low-stress taste of Singapore school so it will not seem so strange. [Note: academics should NOT be the main purpose or school immersion.]

• Once the date for return draws nearer, teach the TCKs what other children of that age will be expected to know (e.g. ordering hawker food, public transport, Singlish terms etc.). Teens hate feeling “stupid” in public. Find someone to introduce them to the “in” music, games, etc. are among the appropriate age groups in Singapore.

Nothing will totally remove transition stress, but this preparation will go a good way to ease the challenges.

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.