The Returning Singaporean Child: 7 Things Parents Should Understand

A child experiences the return to Singapore differently from adults. Unlike their parents, they don’t have the familiarity that years of living in Singapore can give, even if they have visited regularly.

7 things that parents of TCKs should note:

1. Children who have lived overseas for a year or more are unlikely to regard moving to Singapore as returning “home”. But intentional input from parents and other Singaporeans can help them develop a sense of identity and belonging.

2. The younger the child, the more quickly they forget people and places. But regular and repeated exposure will help increase familiarity.

3. A child experiences an environment differently at every age. Every time they visit Singapore, their experiences will be different, and these varied encounters add nuance to their connection to the country and people.

4. Pre-teens and teens hate appearing “stupid”. Unfortunately, if they look like a Singaporean and not a foreign visitor, they may not be given much leeway if they are unsure or make mistakes in public.

5. Friends are the most important thing in a child’s life (other than parents!). TCKs who have left their friends behind will need support to grieve those losses before they are ready to make new friends.

6. Helping the TCK make new friends should be the priority when returning to Singapore. Catching up with education important, but emotional comfort comes first.

7. TCKs need their parents’ support the most in the initial days and weeks back in Singapore. However busy parents are, at least one parent should prioritise helping the children settle well.

A child whose parents understand these will be better equipped than most to make a smooth re-entry to Singapore.

* A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their childhood living outside their passport country.